Playing Debussy on an untuned bar piano after a bit of wine and a gin & tonic doesn't yield the most aesthetic outcome, but it does make for an enjoyable ending to a Saturday night. I don't normally feel comfortable playing in front of people but last night something compelled me to do it. I have been drawn more and more toward music lately and feel like a piano or a keyboard might be necessary for me to have in my apartment. Alternatively I could learn how to play my guitar... but would need someone to teach me, I think.
Also, because I am a typical single white girl, I've been binge-watching New Girl and aspiring to be everything that Zooey Deschanel represents in that show. I realize I'm a late arrival to that party, since everyone has already succumbed to the ideal of the manic pixie dream girl bullshit. But here I am, and I've got the pretty dresses and polka dots to show for it. Ha!
I don't think I am able to write compellingly anymore. I've tried to write even in the face of complete word drought, and absolutely nothing is striking me as inspiring. I feel like this might necessitate some kind of new love or life change, but I am not sure how ready I feel for that. I thought that recent painful feelings would provide an influx of tortured poetry or something, but it mostly just turned my brain off for a while.
I've been wondering whether artistic inspiration can only manifest in one medium at a time, at least for me. Since I've been involving myself more in music, I haven't been able to write anything. Like, even bringing a pen to a page is arduous. I sat staring at the blank screen here for almost an hour before starting to write, and I'm still not sure it's interesting enough to warrant sharing with people.
My birthday is coming up next Friday (the 24th!) and I haven't been subtle about it. For some reason I have always placed a really high importance on birthday celebrations, although the outcome never seems to be very satisfying. I think this is because I am not terribly great at planning things, and I've always wanted to be surprised by the people who care about me. At this point it's hard to say exactly who that group of people would be, as I tend to lose contact with people as I become busier.
For the record I really like hugs. And flowers. Just some little facts about me. Birthday facts......
On another note, I am enjoying watching this Packer game. It's pleasant to watch this team slaughter the competition while I am doing my laundry. That is part of what makes Sunday my favorite day of the week. That, and the fact that I don't have to work on Sundays, and can get my life together. And cook delicious delights!
In conclusion, I would like to apologize to you, dear reader, for what is shaping up to be a lame blog update. In the future I'll make sure I have a reason for blogging so the words are worth your time. I feel I may have tricked you; for this I am sorry.
If anyone is interested, go watch the Birthday episode (season 3, ep 13) of New Girl. It's like that.
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